Closed But Open
"“It’s over and done, but the heartache lives on inside… it’s just emotions taking me over…”
So everything ended. You left him. He left you. She walked away. Yall split. It’s over. But… is it really? Have you ever been in that place where you guys decided that it was over, or things just wore out, or you just walked away, but you still didn’t feel like it was done? Or how about I say it this way, you didn’t have closure. I know we all have probably been there at least once. Doesn’t it suck?! For some people, it’s not that big a deal, but for others, they will literally fight their way back to a person just to prove their point, or have that last conversation so that they can get an answer or a forced apology. Which end are you on? Or are you somewhere in the middle? For me, depends on the season I’m in and the situation. I have tried to have that last conversation with several people, and all it did was stir up old anger, emotions and feelings of rejection - which I HATE. But what if there was no “last conversation”? Would you be okay with simply walking away… without closure?
Wait… WHAT?
What if you found strength down within yourself to not even require that last conversation? You just dust your hands off, kick the dirt from your boots and walk away. No hurt, no ill feelings, no shade, nothing. The closure that you got was simply the fact that you were able to move on whether they apologized or not. What if that was a thing? I haven’t been able to do with every relationship (whether friendships or dating), but there are a few I was able to simply move on from. Now obviously, the deeper the feelings, the harder it is to do this. BUT!! It’s not impossible. Finding strength within yourself to be okay with a decision and not allow it to affect you is no easy task, but once you activate that power, baayyybeee… you can be unstoppable!
All of that from walking away without closure?
Yes! Why? Because one of the main reasons we go back to seek closure is because we want to prove a point, force an apology, or you want to have the final word and them finally see your side. But will that really solve anything? Or will it simply tear open an old wound, just to pour something like lemon juice down inside it? Pointless and painful. And often not a wise choice. Do I believe some things may require a final conversation? Absolutely. But there are some relationships and/or situations and conversations that you should just end, be done with, squash and walk away from.
I am still finding that strength in some areas. That kind of strength comes with boldness and confidence. It comes with knowing who you are and that you owe no one an explanation as to why you choose to protect your peace of mind. If that means being done with one area, season or person(s) in your life, then okay. There doesn’t have to be any cold-heartedness surrounding it, but there needs to be a boldness. If you’ve found yourself often looking for closure or an apology, do yourself a favor - don’t. Don’t keep opening up that old wound, especially if it’s a touchy area. What you can do it pray, meditate, increase your self-care and remind yourself of the new people that have walked - or will walk - into your life. Forgive and move on, even without an apology. You can choose to be done with it. Don’t allow them, that situation or your emotions to dictate that area of your life anymore. You could end up bitter, unsatisfied and even depressed. Please don’t; not over the loss of a relationship, be it friend, lover or even family. If it was meant to be, it will be. If it is able to be fixed, it will be.
I’m not saying it won’t hurt, it might for a while. I’m not saying you won’t be angry, you more than likely will be! I’m not saying you won’t cry and even question yourself; don’t hold back, crying is healthy and permitted for a period of time. I’m saying, either let things be, or let them happen naturally, without you forcing an unhealthy situation. Don’t keep damaging your heart by going back for more hurt, just to get something off your chest. In other words, don’t keep yourself open while you’re trying to close.
#AfternoonBoost
