Introducing. . .

“I'm coming out! I want the world to know; got to let it show!”

You know one of the things I just haven't talked about? This pandemic that we're in right now. Not to avoid it, but I've been trying to take my mind off what's happening and focus on what I'm doing in the middle of it. Yes, you want to stay informed about any updates, but I don't want it to consume my thoughts. So, I'm choosing to use this time as something like a blanket that a little kid would use to make themselves invisible, then when their audience walks into the room, they throw it off and yell, “Ta-daaah!” as if they had reappeared out of thin air. Except along with my reappearance, I want to make a reintroduction.

One of the main things I want to reintroduce is my business as a real estate agent. I stepped back into it at the beginning of this year, but have since become frustrated and a bit disappointed at how things were going. The truth is, it wasn't working how I thought it would work, but I was the one not putting any work into it. How does that work? Sheesh. I'm not going to pressure myself, but I am going to put a demand on myself to do all that I can during this time.

But here's the thing, that's for ME. If the way you're spending this time looks or sounds different, that's ok! I've seen way too many social media posts about how we should be spending during this time, but how can I tell you what you're supposed to be doing? Honey listen… if you've been stressed out about your busy schedule, maybe this is your time to rest and recharge. If you're a hardworking mama or papa, maybe this is your time to spend with your family. Maybe this is your opportunity to regain your love for something you always put to the side or never had time for. Whatever you're supposed to be doing, just make sure you do it. Your being productive isn't gonna look like mine or anyone else's. Do YOUR thing.

It doesn't matter what you have or have not done, as long as you allowed yourself to rest, grow, create, plan, listen, pray, love on your family or figure something out… anything that would be productive for you. Many have been traumatized by this whole thing. For them, you should pray and check on (if you know or have access to them). Then, thank God for the peace of mind or the piece of mind you have. It's easy to lose sight of that in something like this but that's where doing something productive for yourself comes into play. Guard your mind, your heart and your spirit. Find someone to talk to if necessary (I'm always available!), go get some ice cream (butter pecan!), watch a good movie, read a good book, take the best nap, just RESET. Then, when this whole thing is over, you too can throw back the blanket and say, “Ta-daaah!” as your reintroduction to the world!

Oh… one more thing… allow me to reintroduce myself: Chaye Benjamin - your [Maryland] Real Estate agent ready to serve you! Ta-daaah!

#MorningCoffee

Tied Up

“If I could… could forget him, I would. Please believe me.”

It's 4am and I have a lot on the brain, so let's talk. Well let me ask a question: What do you do when all you can do is think about doing the thing you know you shouldn't do? We have all been there… some of us multiple times. *raises hand* When you know that if you do it, you're gonna fall into a trap, and most of the time, it's AGAIN. What about feeling that way about a person? You know that if you contact them, more than likely nothing good will come of it. It literally takes everything in you sometimes, not to contact them. I don't understand why this so hard! Why can't I just let them go? It's because they hold a significant piece of your mind, heart or soul.

Ahh, the soul.

Yep. One of those areas that's hard to release even after you say you're letting go. If you have allowed yourself to become soul tied to someone who is not your boo, bae, girl or your man, you have put yourself and your heart in one of the most challenging positions. Imagine having a rope around your soul and giving the other end to someone. You walk away, but your soul never detaches from you, it simply stretches to accommodate how far you have walked. The problem is, you've given your heart to someone else, yet you still feel the tug on your soul because the other person is still holding the other end of the rope. Whew!

Soul ties are NO JOKE. You will find yourself thinking about that person or that time, without even trying. You will want so bad to erase memories simply to because you want to be done like you said you were. You think to yourself, maybe I just need closure...

There's that word "closure" again. Go back a few blogs and read my thoughts on that!

You always feel like you just need one more conversation. You may even convince yourself that talking to them is the best thing to do in order to "get it out of your system." Wrong. Why? Because any conversation is going to bring up old thoughts, feelings, pains, emotions and you shouldn't torture yourself like that unless you're talking to a therapist or spiritual advisor for healing.

I know all I wanted was an explanation. Why did it end how it did? Did he mean any of it, or was I just a moment in time? I even wanted to go as far as to ask what the future could have possibly been if things were different. But things aren't different girl! You're married! Why put your heart through that?! Why question what will never be, only to relive the pain all over again? Your heart gets pulled in such a way that logic sometimes goes out the door.

I'm not saying that this is how it is for everyone, but let me just say what it did for me. A soul tie is going to attach to the part of you that's deficient. See I got tied up 7 years into my marriage. I had lost sight of myself and needed to feel like I was still me, like somebody liked me and at that time in my life, I needed to laugh. I got that in every sense of the word and it only took a few days to fall. Wait... Only days? Yep. But I already knew him, we were friends first. He catered to the part of me that needed to be touched. Right down to that sexual energy that needed satisfaction.

So... Was it worth it?

My heart, mind and spirit all say no because all of those feelings were satisfied in a dishonorable way. But hey, I got what I wanted right? Long live the memories right? Yea right. You mean those memories I wish I could erase? Then maybe it wouldn't be so hard. That's what you're left with once you have acquired a soul tie. You gotta avoid sexual or deeply emotional exchanges with someone who you aren't meant to be with for the long run. Especially when you're in a place of vulnerability.

Soul ties. Not impossible to untie, but some of the strongest knots you will ever experience in your life. It's been years and I'm still undoing knots in certain areas, but with some serious prayer and finally learning to love myself, I can personally tell you that freedom is absolutely possible. But… why get tied in the first place, just to have to go through the process of untying? Like the Bible says, you gotta guard your heart. [Proverbs 4:23] The best way to do that? No passing out ropes.

#MorningCoffee #NoSugarNoCream

Poetry Moment: Land Of the Free, Blood Of the Enraged

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart , and with all your soul (life), and with all your mind (thought, understanding), and with all your strength .’This is the second: ‘You shall [unselfishly] love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” - Mark 12:30-31 AMP

The Book of Law, Love and Instruction sets a guideline
For how we should walk through life
The temperament of our minds
Should be like that of Christ
To love deeply, to guide, to give sight to the blind
Yet so many are still walking in darkness
No light before them
No guidance
Yet they see through the eyes of the unrighteous
Therefore they are not blind, but sightless
Night after night the cries of a mistreated, mismanaged tribe
Rips through the darkened skies
Afraid for their lives
Wondering how many more times
They will say, yet I survived
Beyond the hatred of ignorance and unrequited disgust
For no matter how much we may burn with rage, we don’t retaliate in a way that would bring shame to our ancestor’s graves
Yet we fight for our rights
That seem to be altered and changed day after day
Torn from the pages of the law of ages
No constitutional covering hovering over our lives
The words and meanings changed conveniently
While we vehemently recite
Our rights
Of a flawed system
Because face it
Anything that's had 27 amendments
Wasn't finished to begin with
But published
With no regard for the entire general public
Only those of the lighter variety
Receive the protection of its entirety
While minorities who ironically are the majority
Are fed excuses of why the uses of the laws change
Rearrange according to your race
The color of your face
Your skin determines if you win
Another lynching without consequence
Recompense
But even if there was...
Would it matter?
The cries for justice and rights
Have turned into a life for a life
But it still doesn't satisfy the pain of the loss
Life given a price and simply paid off
But why was it taken in the first place?
Why are my people still running this never ending, never winning race?
The same lines, lies, cries
Who’s, what’s, where’s, when’s and why’s
How stings the worst
Hurts, bursts of anger
Fits of rage
The voices of the historically enslaved
Scream from the graves
As yet another soul is lowered into
The horizontal cave
As those they leave behind remain
Awaiting the day
Justice will be served
Punishment deserved
Yet for most that day never came
Their fight in vain
But still... they stand up for the next
Never knowing when it will be the last
Day before true equality will come to pass
Fearing a neverending
Fight to be free at last
Fear turns to anger turns to pain turns to rage
With the reality that retaliation will end in a cage
Or the grave
Living in the land of the free
And the home of the enslaved
When will it be the end?
Once the skin of my kin
Brothers and sisters have been
Erased from this land's face?
When we all have been bound again in chains?
Or controlled systematically
Emphatically made to do what pleases the untamed?
Don't hold your breath
Because before we all conform, we'll meet our death
Fighting for our right to life
Which seems rather odd
Living in one nation under God
Indivisible
Yet divided for being who we are
But who we are is what makes us proud
As the colorful hues of our skin scream aloud
The preservation of the bloodline of doctors, lawyers, teachers, preachers, scientists and warriors
And it won't end
Yet in frustration they try
They try to overtake our lives
But then they come to realize the truth of what we already know
You can't stop the flow of a magical people
Try as you might, we will continue fight
For life, for our rights
No matter what you thought
We are no longer slaves
Unable to be sold or bought
On the backs of our ancestors
Our freedom was copped
So don't get it twisted
We won't be stopped.

What About Your Friends?

“Whenever I’m down, I call on you my friend. A helping hand you lend in my time of need so I… I’m calling you now, just to make it through…”

Let me ask you something, it is absolutely dope to have friends that have been there with you for 20+ years, or since high school, yall are frat brothers or sorrors, but can you always talk to ALL or ANY of them about something you’re dealing with? I have watched enough movies and tv shows to know it’s probably not always the best idea to share every part of you with every friend… whether they’re bests or not.

But those are the homies, the broskis, my girls, my boos… why shouldn’t I talk to them?

Not that you shouldn’t talk to them at all, but I have become a firm believer in what I call “pocket friends”. Let me explain. There are certain times in life that you may need someone to be a bit easy with you, so you would choose which friend to talk to in that moment. You would talk to the kind-hearted friend who cries with you, prays with you and is a listening ear. If you talk to your other friend, they’re gonna pop off, or be insensitive and that’s not what you want or need in the moment. But then, you may need that friend one day because they will say the first thing that comes to mind (though it may not always be the most “refined” talk), and you know they’re honest no matter what. Then you may have times where you need that friend who is sharp with the tongue, yet has a tremendous amount of couth, can sit with the most prestigious people, yet cut them down to size with the most class. Yes indeed! See, depending on what you’re dealing with, or where you are at the moment, you might not be able to talk to all of them; you may have to slip them into certain “pockets”.

It’s not to be shady or fake, it’s to protect both you and them. You protect yourself by knowing who might be able to handle your issue, as well as which of their responses your heart can take at the moment. You protect them from either getting lash back or unfriended while you’re in a funky headspace. Nah, that’s real life. I had to figure out - and really, I’m still figuring in some areas - what I really need from my friends. There are times I will be feeling some type of way, and I will go to my contacts list and just… scroll. Which one? Which one? Hmm… It’s like trying to decide which pair of shoes you’re going to wear with this outfit today. There are three different pair you could wear, but each of them turn the outfit into something different, whether chilled, cute or sassy… so which one am I feeling like?

You may not always know which friend you need in that moment, or you may not want to talk to any of them. Even if you share what’s going on, you have the choice of sharing how you feel with them. You may choose to talk to someone who can help you on a deeper emotional or spiritual level. This is where your Pastor and/or your therapist comes in.

Pause. So unless your Pastor has a degree in psychiatry or counseling, please know that he or she is not the same thing as a licensed professional. Sometimes you need more than just prayer. I know I won’t get no “Amen’s” right there though.

The idea is to figure out what you need. If you don’t know how to do that, pray about it! No really, ask God which friend you need to talk to about it. You may not need any of them. Instead, you may need your boo, you may need your brothers, sisters, cousins, grandma, dad or your mama. Let me raise my hand on that last one! If your friends were really your good friends, they wouldn’t hold it against you for not coming to them, but they would be happy that you got the help or the answers you needed.

But check this out: you also have to recognize when you’re hiding from your friends.

Yep… bout to hit you right in the gut.

There are times where we hide from our friends because we already know they’re going to be voices of reason, and we don’t necessarily want to be reasonable in this moment. I sure have been there! More than once! You either don’t call them at all, or you call the friend you know you don’t need to call, because you know she’s the one that’s gonna give you the response you want. Uh-uh… don’t do it! You’ll ruin yourself and your emotions! It takes much longer to fix your emotions and mend your heart than it does to break them. Man, don’t I know it! Again, the idea is to figure out what you need. What you want may steer you wrong sometimes. What you need may not always feel good, but it will always be good for you. There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother, but as much as they may love you and as much as you may trust them, they still may not be your answer and that’s okay! It’s no shade against your friends; you have to understand that you have to do what you need to do to keep you together! When you’re together and level-headed, then you can be the friend that they will need, no matter which pocket they put you in.

#AfternoonBoost

Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop!

“Oh my brother, don’t give up. You just keep on hanging on. Be strong.”

You make a plan, you write it out, make a vision board about it, put it on your calendar in faith, pin it to your wall, get all the details and specifics about it, pray about it… I mean, you do EVERYTHING RIGHT. But then… you begin to execute, or go after it like you said you would, and it seems like it’s falling out from underneath of you.

But God, what about my goal?! I thought we had a plan!

So first thing’s first… breathe. I know how frustrating and downright scary it can be to think that the plans you so carefully thought about and prayed about may not come to pass, or the date you had set in your mind has come and gone, but that does not mean it will never happen! I had a whole plan laid out for this year (as I’m sure a million people had), but then this pandemic hit the world and everything began to go downhill and my motivation went right with it. I became frustrated, I cried and asked God why every time I make a plan to get better, something out of my control jumps in my face and I end up not being able to do anything? The plans that I made were for the end of this year, but I had to have hit a certain goal before I would be comfortable enough to carry them out. One major part of that was the business that I had finally had the opportunity to jump back into - real estate. I am currently a licensed Maryland agent, and had so many plans of what I was going to do and how I was going to get my business booming. Even though I had just had a baby (the end of December 2019), I wasn’t gonna let anything stop me like it did last time. No excuses! Then… quarantine. Really? All of my plans seemed to be trash. I cried, asked God why he keeps doing this to me, and even snatched the paper off my board which held my 5 year plan and tossed it in the trash. I mean, I was CRUSHED. I can just imagine God sitting back like, “when you’re done with your tantrum, let’s talk.” Kind of how I do with my children.

It can be terribly difficult to see God in the middle of any situation that looks like all hell is breaking loose, or it’s never gonna work out, or plans are trashed, but I promise you he’s there. One thing I have had to learn to do in the middle of all of this is trust Him… COMPLETELY. I trust him with my life and my family’s lives, but do I trust him to do what he knows how to do, and that’s BE GOD? Why must I give up on the plans I established - and thought were great - just because things are starting to flip? Why would you abort your own mission? I had prayed about those plans and really thought I walked through the whole thing with God… so if that’s the case, then why don’t I trust that he will make it happen for me? Why don’t you trust that he can and will make it happen for you? Maybe the way you (and I) envisioned for it to happen will change, but can God still satisfy your heart if you let him? ABSOLUTELY. But that’s the kicker: you have to let him. Meaning, you just might have to let go of what you thought things were gonna look like, or how you thought they were gonna go, and realize that even if he shakes everything up, it’s for your good and you won’t be disappointed. That’s where I have to learn to trust him the most.

Don’t quit on your ideas, your plans, your dreams or goals simply because things are being shaken up right now. Even if the time has come and passed, don’t look at it like a loss, expect that God is going to allow your mind to be blown and your heart protected right in the middle of the shake. It WILL happen for you! If it’s in God’s will, if he sees your heart is in it and it’s in the right place, if it’s good for you, if it’s your [pure] heart’s desire, if you’ve prayed about it, if you’ve fasted, written it out to make it plain, spoke nothing but positivity and put faith into the atmosphere and in action, then DON’T WORRY! I’m not saying you have to do all of these things before God says yes, I’m saying, if you believe, then let God be who he says he is and do what he says he will do. He’s got you! Even in the midst of this chaos, he sees YOU. Stay focused! Maybe you needed a new strategy, maybe you needed to see how strong you are or how resourceful you are when things look like they’re going down. Maybe you needed a test of faith and/or trust in God. Maybe you needed a good ole kick in the pants! I don’t know what it is, but I do know that when we come out of this, we need to be ready to GO!! No holding back, we’re chasing after dreams like never before!

Are you ready?!?

Don’t erase your dreams, give up on your goals or toss your plans [like I did…smh], just keep going. Don’t stop. Don’t quit. Don’t give up on God. He will accomplish everything that concerns you! [Psalms 138:8]

#MorningCoffee

Please Touch

“I wanna be, wanna be, where you are. Right now…”

All day, the two of you have been sending steamy or sweet messages back and forth to each other. You keep saying how you can’t wait to finally be in each other’s arms. You keep working, breezing through your day, because you’re anticipating the moment you can finally see the face behind all those sexy words you’ve been reading all day. You can’t wait to taste the lips where the voice of your love escapes from. Forget dinner, you’re gonna want to touch and kiss on that body you get to lay next to every night as soon as you see it. Your mind is ready, your body’s been ready. You close your eyes as you begin to daydream about later on; you smile. All of your senses come to life. You begin to hear what will be said and what music will be played. You can taste how sweet the kisses will be after dessert - or during (*wink*), and almost feel the touch of your lover. You can see their eyes scanning your whole body, trying to decide where to start. Then the smell of…

Wait… what is that smell?

You open your eyes to see your toddler standing right next to you, picking up the tablet that was dropped when he disappeared a few minutes ago, and now you know why. Now you smell why. Then you snap further back into reality as your oldest daughter walks through the door from school. You look at the clock and realize your youngest daughter will be getting out of school within the next hour. Time to go into action. Pick up your daughter, homework, dinner, dishes, family movie, clean up toys and mess, baths, showers, bed time. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, your love made it home and helped with the end of the day routine. Even still, by the time the girls stop talking and get in their beds, your toddler finally falls asleep after jumping in his big boy bed for 15 minutes, and the baby gets settled after his bottle, you both are so beat that you pass out on the bed without even acknowledging those steamy messages.

Wait… what just happened?

What happened to the sexiness? The anticipation of making love? All of your energy has been given to the chores and the children, leaving none for the moment of intimacy you have been anticipating all day. Is this a normal scenario for you? Let me be honest… it sure is for me. We have four children, ranging from ages 4 months to 16 years old (pray for us yall), so it’s extremely difficult to find a moment to be by ourselves, let alone find a “safe” time for sex! I mean, obviously something is going on, because we have four children right? But here’s the thing… unless it’s 1 or 2am, or the kids are at their grandparent’s house, it is next to impossible to sneak a moment of love into our days. And really, as tired as my husband is when he comes home from work, and as tired as I am after being home all day with the kids (especially during this quarantine), sex is sometimes the last thing on our minds. I understand there’s other ways to be intimate, or sex shouldn’t be the only thing you’re focused on in your marriage, but umm… it’s definitely a major part! Don’t you let nobody lie to you saying it’s not that serious if you go weeks without having sex! Unless there is something mentally (depression) or medically going on - like having a baby - then there is no reason weeks should go by without physical intimacy.

First of all, making sure sex happens between husband and wife is Biblical, mmkay? And that’s all I have to say about that. Please read I Corinthians 7:5. Amen church?

No really! Annnnd, it reduces stress, it releases endorphins (which are natural pain killers), you burn calories (come on summer body!), it’s an antidepressant, it gives you energy and naturally brings the two of you closer. Why wouldn’t you want to fight to make all that happen??? I understand there’s so much going on at home with the kids, working from home, being an essential worker (my husband is one), online schooling, cleaning, cooking, laundry —

Wait… sidebar: are yall washing and folding in the same day since we have time now? I mean, there’s not too much to wash, outside of pajamas, sweats, t-shirts, sheets and towels. We should have time to do that now, right? Are you able to do it? Well, I can say, as for me and my house… yea it’s still a no. But I digress.

So even with all that happens in a normal day, you MUST make time for each other. There has to be a moment of physical intimacy every day. It doesn’t matter if it’s a make-out session, a long hug, a full body, intimate massage, or sex. Your souls connect when your bodies touch. When there is an exchange of [sexual] energy between the two of you, your connection becomes deeper. So how can you make that happen, even with everything going on? You might have to plan it. Sounds less than fun to plan or schedule sex, but until things calm down, it might be the way you have to go. If you always leave it up to finding the “right” moment, but those moments seem few and far between, it may never happen. Then you both end up frustrated, you become distant and the energy in the house is out of whack.

Ask me how I know.

At least if you plan it, you can make it happen how you want it to. Whether it’s a quickie while the kids are eating, or a full on encounter when you both fall out on the bed. Use that last bit of energy and make sparks fly! Sex often leads to more sex, so afterwhile, you won’t need a schedule anymore. Another thing, understand that even if it’s 15 minutes, touching each other is beneficial… period. Don’t put a demand for sex on each other, put a demand to be touched on each other. Touching often leads to sex, but if it doesn’t, who doesn’t like to be touched in a sweet or spicy way by their boo? Even if touch is not your main love language, in those moments of intimacy, it rises to the top! Touch on purpose. Walk up behind her while she’s washing dishes and grab her waist. Kiss her cheek, neck, head, shoulder… whatever she likes. Brush up against his back while he’s making lunch. Smack his butt while he’s brushing his teeth (or hers). Stare at him seductively in the mirror while he’s shaving, getting dressed or washing his face. Give each other hints that you’re open for whatever possibilities that day holds. Keep those sweet and sexy words and texts going throughout the day. Then, once the night comes, if you’re still open, make things happen. Shower together if he comes home late. Or due to the pandemic, let your essential worker shower first, but save your shower for later on and call them back in to help you (yes sir!). You can eat a late dessert together. You can fall asleep naked under a comfy blanket (your bodies will naturally gravitate to each other being naked). You can even turn down the lights, climb into bed and fall asleep to love songs playing. You just might wake up and hear the right song that will make you want to wake each other up in the middle of the night for some sugar and spice.

Ask me how I know baby!

This is all foreplay! Don’t think of that as a dirty word, it’s essential for the quality of the moment when you actually have a chance to touch your husband or your wife. Bottom line, please touch. Don’t let life’s responsibilities and craziness rob you of your moments of love with each other. Yes, love is more than sex, so make sure you’re making time for all of it! Help each other, be open with each other about what you do and don’t want, be fair to each other and be understanding. But no matter what… make each other a priority and by all means, HAVE FUN!! Oww!

#MidniteBrew

Closed But Open

"“It’s over and done, but the heartache lives on inside… it’s just emotions taking me over…”

So everything ended. You left him. He left you. She walked away. Yall split. It’s over. But… is it really? Have you ever been in that place where you guys decided that it was over, or things just wore out, or you just walked away, but you still didn’t feel like it was done? Or how about I say it this way, you didn’t have closure. I know we all have probably been there at least once. Doesn’t it suck?! For some people, it’s not that big a deal, but for others, they will literally fight their way back to a person just to prove their point, or have that last conversation so that they can get an answer or a forced apology. Which end are you on? Or are you somewhere in the middle? For me, depends on the season I’m in and the situation. I have tried to have that last conversation with several people, and all it did was stir up old anger, emotions and feelings of rejection - which I HATE. But what if there was no “last conversation”? Would you be okay with simply walking away… without closure?

Wait… WHAT?

What if you found strength down within yourself to not even require that last conversation? You just dust your hands off, kick the dirt from your boots and walk away. No hurt, no ill feelings, no shade, nothing. The closure that you got was simply the fact that you were able to move on whether they apologized or not. What if that was a thing? I haven’t been able to do with every relationship (whether friendships or dating), but there are a few I was able to simply move on from. Now obviously, the deeper the feelings, the harder it is to do this. BUT!! It’s not impossible. Finding strength within yourself to be okay with a decision and not allow it to affect you is no easy task, but once you activate that power, baayyybeee… you can be unstoppable!

All of that from walking away without closure?

Yes! Why? Because one of the main reasons we go back to seek closure is because we want to prove a point, force an apology, or you want to have the final word and them finally see your side. But will that really solve anything? Or will it simply tear open an old wound, just to pour something like lemon juice down inside it? Pointless and painful. And often not a wise choice. Do I believe some things may require a final conversation? Absolutely. But there are some relationships and/or situations and conversations that you should just end, be done with, squash and walk away from.

I am still finding that strength in some areas. That kind of strength comes with boldness and confidence. It comes with knowing who you are and that you owe no one an explanation as to why you choose to protect your peace of mind. If that means being done with one area, season or person(s) in your life, then okay. There doesn’t have to be any cold-heartedness surrounding it, but there needs to be a boldness. If you’ve found yourself often looking for closure or an apology, do yourself a favor - don’t. Don’t keep opening up that old wound, especially if it’s a touchy area. What you can do it pray, meditate, increase your self-care and remind yourself of the new people that have walked - or will walk - into your life. Forgive and move on, even without an apology. You can choose to be done with it. Don’t allow them, that situation or your emotions to dictate that area of your life anymore. You could end up bitter, unsatisfied and even depressed. Please don’t; not over the loss of a relationship, be it friend, lover or even family. If it was meant to be, it will be. If it is able to be fixed, it will be.

I’m not saying it won’t hurt, it might for a while. I’m not saying you won’t be angry, you more than likely will be! I’m not saying you won’t cry and even question yourself; don’t hold back, crying is healthy and permitted for a period of time. I’m saying, either let things be, or let them happen naturally, without you forcing an unhealthy situation. Don’t keep damaging your heart by going back for more hurt, just to get something off your chest. In other words, don’t keep yourself open while you’re trying to close.

#AfternoonBoost

The Coffee Shop

Before we start, let me get this out…

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE HERE!!!!! This is gonna be so much fun!

Ok, now… can I tell yall a secret? Well, it’s not really a secret, but it’s a thing. Not like a BIG thing, but a “thing” nonetheless. It’s not going to alter anything, but I just feel I need to share this bit of information before we really get into this. Well, it’s more like a fact about me. Not a fact, fact, but just… okay listen, this is too much. Here it is: I don’t like coffee!!

* Gasp *

I can hear the questions flowing in now, “Sooo why is your entire site called ‘Morning Coffee’ if you don’t even drink coffee?” Let me explain. What I love to do is encourage people. I love being a voice of light and love. I love being able to give people a boost of energy when they need it most - something like a cup of morning coffee!

Did you read the About section?

BUT!! Although I may not like coffee, it’s still a big part of my life. How? Well first of all, my 16 year old daughter is obsessed with Starbucks as half the world seems to be. Even though whatever grande mocha chocolaté frappé cappuccino hot iced vanilla whip with two pumps such and such she drinks looks more like hot chocolate than coffee (I swear, you Starbuck fans have your own language). It doesn’t help that it’s right at the top of the hill between our house and her school, so she often makes pit-stops there, either on the way to school or coming home, which makes her run late some days. Then, I gotta become that mom and lay the hammer down because Starbucks is not essential to her passing 10th grade (although in her mind, it is. Somebody come get her). That’s not a big part? Okay… well, how about this? My husband is an avid coffee drinker, to the point where if he didn’t drink it, I don’t know if we would have made it all these years. See? Coffee is a huge part of my life! But guess what? As much as he loves coffee, he despises Starbucks.

* Another Gasp *

He doesn’t understand why he would pay $15 for something he could either make at home, or grab from McDonald’s or Dunkin’ Donuts. He claims they “do too much” with their coffee and they’re not even that big a deal. Whoa. I told him, don’t let the Bucks Bros and Babes hear him say that! But this man… he can not function without coffee in the morning. He will still get up, get moving and get things done, but he is testyyy (eeee!!)!! I mean, grumpy, everything makes him upset, he stomps his feet if he simply drops a spoon on the floor, no peppy hello, smile, hi-five, wave or nothing! He is in no way a mean person - couldn’t do it if he tried - but without that coffee? Honeeeeeey! Most of the time, we can’t help but laugh at how frazzled his mornings are until he drinks his coffee. But then, he always tries to put me and my daughter out of the house for doing so. Then we laugh some more. How can you NOT?! I love that man but Lord knows I make SURE he is not without the black bean! No but really, I loooovvve that man. Like… like that ooo wee kind of love. He is definitely my wake-me-up; so I am a coffee lover’s lover. Oww!! Wait… let me save that part for #MidniteBrew

What started this whole morning coffee wave? Honestly… one day, I just started using this hashtag #MorningCoffee because I wrote something in the morning that was like a message to get you started and wake you up. From there, I began to change the hashtag according to when I wrote the post, like #AfternoonBoost or #MidniteBrew. I loved it, so I stuck with it! Then, in March of last year (2019), what was once just a hashtag became a branch of my brand and I even changed my stage name to Java. Yea baby!

I know it seems kind of wrong to just use coffee like this, knowing that I don’t really like it, but at least I appreciate it… that’s good for something right? I did drink iced coffee while I was working overnight as a waitress for a restaurant famous for their breakfast (especially yummy pancakes), and it was pretty good. Does that count? I can also say that I love the smell of the coffee section in the grocery store, or a nice coffee shop… mmm! It definitely takes me to a place just from the smell alone, so I can imagine what it does for those who live by it, like my husband.

Ok so back to the beginning… I’m here to be a literary coffee shop - to serve up words that get you going. Sometimes they might be hot, sometimes cold, some with cream and sugar, or dark roast; a shot of espresso, or even a mocha whip latté such and such. My hope is that you enjoy coming into my shop time and again for a thought-provoking, encouraging message in the morning [Morning Coffee], an afternoon, light hearted pick-me-up [Afternoon Roast], and some grown (and maybe even a bit sexy) talk in the evening [Midnite Brew].

So… you got your mug ready? Let’s go!